Red Chief-isms

I used to post the funny things my kids say here. At some point I started putting them on Facebook instead, but now I'm wishing I could see them all in one place. So I'm going to grab them and put them here. I should probably have a page in the scrapbook for them too.


  • Me: "Will you give me that spoon, please?" Red Chief: "My name's not please!"
  • Mr. Mordecai: "What should you do if someone asks you to smoke?" Red Chief: "Say, 'May I please smoke?'"
  • Red Chief: "I'll be an old man when I get four."
  • Red Chief: "I would like a new mommy. Not you, you're the old mean mommy."
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, you're not being patient enough."
  • Red Chief: "What should we clean today, Mommy?"
  • Red Chief has built an "inspiring vacuum" out of styrofoam, cardboard, and tinkertoys.
  • Me: "Red Chief, do you want anything at the store?" Red Chief: "Um, a flying trapeze."
  • Just caught Red Chief trying to stuff the cat in his backpack.
  • Red Chief is playing daycare with Tiger Lily. That means he shuts her in the playroom.
  • Red Chief: "Lom, le luilder, lan le lix lit . . . ges gwee canic! Mommy, I'm singing Bob the Builder in French!"
  • Red Chief: "I'll do it in a jiffy in just a minute."
  • Red Chief is trying to charge me $100 for washing my windows.
  • Red Chief, in tears, with carrot in hand: "Mommy, my mouth feels like tasting sugar."
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, you're out of order." Me: "Red Chief . . . " Red Chief: "Mommy, I'm sorry, you're in order."
  • Four-year-old Red Chief just put in a load of laundry all by himself with no prompting from me just because he wanted to help.
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, if we have four kids, will the builders have to come and demolition our house and build a new one with four beds?"


  1. The best part was the flying trapeze. Hehehe.

  2. Annalise has the same thing, with making funny requests for things for us to buy her. Once, she asked me for a "Blue's Clues Pillow Pet, with a matching Steve one."

    The Blue's Clues pillow pet would be cute, but I can only imagine what the Steve one would look like.