Red Chief-isms and Tiger Lily-isms

Part 2011, part 1 (they are ages 1 and 4 here)
  • I let my attention wander for a few minutes and what is Red Chief doing? Polishing the cat.
  • Red Chief is singing a baby song: "Sometimes babies are naughty; and sometimes boys roll rocks at babieeeeees."
  • Red Chief says to Tiger Lily in the grocery store parking lot, "When I was a baby, I had to ride in the trunk."
  • Reasons Red Chief gave for not sharing his candy with Tiger Lily: (1) she might choke on it, (2) she's allergic to sugar, and (3) it has citric acid in it.
  • Red Chief: "Being naughty is just my way of learning how to be good."
  • What Tiger Lily is doing right now: flossing her teeth with a thread from her sock. I love kids.
  • Red Chief just taped a "No Babies Allowed" sign to his door—that is, after he asked me how to spell "babies" and "allowed."
  • Red Chief: "When I'm a Daddy I'll marry you and Daddy, too." I told him we couldn't do that so now he thinks he'll marry Tiger Lily. At least he likes his family!
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, you're so helpless." (Meaning I won't help him.)
  • Breakfast in bed this morning: birthday cake and a banana. Thanks Red Chief!
  • Red Chief wants a microscope so he can look at his liver.
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, you know what? My spine feels comfortable in my back."
  • Tiger Lily, 3am: [sniff, sniff] "Smells like dark."
  • While I was gone tonight, Mr. Mordecai caught Tiger Lily wandering around with a whole chicken from the fridge, saying, "It's dead, it's dead."
  • Red Chief: "Tiger Lily, you are being . . . not acceptable."
  • Red Chief: "You're nice and good, Mom. You're nice and friendly like a friendly roly-poly."
  • Red Chief: "Mommy, have you smelled the air that comes out of my nose?"
  • I went to check on Tiger Lily about midnight because she was crying. Me: "I love you, Tiger Lily." Tiger Lily: "I Shirley Temple." Then she rolled over and went back to sleep.

1 comment:

  1. From the mouths of babes come some very funny one-liners!